Varanasi? No, Thank You!

Quoting/editing one of my favorites movies, "traveling is like a box of chocolates". So far every city, town and village had exploded in my mouth leaving a delicious taste (even Delhi, which needed a few days of chewing before reaching the sweet core). Nonetheless chocolate boxes in India are likely to contain rotten bonbons lying right next to the sweet ones. And that's the case of Varanasi. I had big expectations about this city, everybody described it to me as special, mystical, sacred, quiet... well, either I got off at the wrong train station or I just wasn't in the right mood. I'd probably go for the latter.

Thirty long hours on two long trains might be too much even for the keenest of the travelers. Add to that a troublesome ride on a rickshaw and an endless peregrination from hotel to hotel searching for a cheap room and you will obtain as a result a grumpy and tired fellow. The three hour siesta didn't work, neither did the tasty chocolate pancakes of the German Bakery, nor the company of Eva (21, German), Jorge (29, Guatemala) and Clare (27, UK)... Varanasi was called to be a bitter bite.

The second day I tried again, went for a walk along the ghats (concrete staircase beaches where pilgrims from all over the country come to meet Mother Ganga) down to the Hindu University of Benaras but nothing, not a single trickle of joy or interest. Ugly narrow alleys stuffed with boring shops selling Chinese crap and fake pashminas, cow shit all around, decadent temples and touts, many touts, the most annoying I've found in this country.

I started day #3 in a desperate attempt to find something that made my visit to Benares worthwhile. I went for one of the superpopular cruises through the Ganga river during sunrise. I'll give it a 6, perhaps a 7 if you are lucky and your boatman is able to explain the story behind each ghat (like Manikarnika, the most important crematory where hindu families bring the bodies of their beloved ones and pay loads of money to burn them).

And that's how this chapter came to an end, a tasteless end. Here some good advice if you ever plan to visit Varanasi: go there well-rested and whenever possible in good company, book a good hotel neat the south ghats, eat well (my favorite place: Ganga Fuji Restaurant), listen to your IPod while skimming through the market stalls, and leave the city withing 48-60 hours.

Interesting things I've learnt:

1. India is going nowhere until the local authorities have a serious talk with the Gods.
2. Water of Ganga river contains 1.5 billion bacteria per ml. (3000000 times the maximum amount tolerable for baths)
3. Pilgrims in Varanasi can swim, wash themselves, pee, poo, burn corpses, feed animals, throw garbage and say 'Cheese' to Japanese photographers in less than 5km of river.
   

---

Mi visita a Varanasi no fue tan interesante como esperaba. Muchos me habian hablado de su ambiente mistico, pacifico, espiritual, especial... bla bla bla. No se si es porque llegue cansado despues de 30 horas en dos trenes o simplemente porque no soy un tio especialmente mistico, pero a mi Varanasi me entro del reves desde el principio. Tanto polvo y mierda como en cualquier otra ciudad, pero aqui te la disfrazan de callejuelas pintorescas con templos supersagrados (sisi, lo que tu digas). Tantos vendedores pesados como en cualquier otra ciudad, pero encima aqui te dicen cuentan que si los dioses, que si el Ganges, que si clases de yoga... en fin, que yo lo dejo para los perro-flautas.
Tres dias intentando ver algo que mereciese la pena, y lo unico destacable es el paseo en barca al amanecer. Interesante ver como la gente caga, mea, tira la basura, bautiza e incinera a sus miertos en apenas 6 km de rio. Llamarme simplista o ciego, pero yo creo que este pais no va a ninguna parte hasta que sus mandatarios (y educadores) tengan una charla seria con los Dioses.
Asi que nada, me fui de Varanasi con mas pena que gloria, pero bueno, no todo van a ser familias supermajas y sitios superinteresantes. \