Bandipur: The Taste of Simple Life

After more than 5 weeks in Nepal it would be a fair thing to say that I quite got the rules of the game or at least as far as an outsider would ever get them. This said my next challenge was to spend a few days living in authentic Nepali fashion.

Bandipur, a little village (120 inhabitants aprox.) in the mid-western region of the country was to be the scenario of the game. Razz -one of my friends at he Panoramix restaurant in Pokhara- had spoken to me about the beauty of the place which is a common destination for local honeymooners.

The game started travelling like most young Nepalis do, on top of the rusty public buses. I hoped on and off up to four times to cover the 130 km of sneaky roads that separate Chitawn National Park and Bandipur. This was not only a very cheap option (70% cheaper than tourist rates) but also a great oportunity to enjoy the lanscapes and fresh air of the mountains. Needless to say that during the breaks I'd join the locals eating and drinking customatory snacks and beverages. Survided both the journey and the edibles I arrived to Bandipur to discover with great surprise that though the village was indeed extremelly beautiful, it had already been beaten by foreign tourists. I was determined to keep the fair play so instead of checking in at one of the very few guest houses I walked on beyond the English speaking area. I knocked the door of every farm with great views on the valley until I found a young man who seemed to understand my intention. Suman Sun Shresta and his family hosted me for two entire days. During this period of time the head of the family showed me around town and tried to explain (in Nepalinglish or signs) the interesting daily routine of the Bandipurers. Things like fueling a supersofisticated machine able to grind wheat, filter rice and produce oil all at once. He also showed me the four schools of the village, empty due to the final pre-examination break. I played with his children and the children of the neighbours who looked at me with 'what the f*ck?' faces. I also got to learn how to build my own deadly weapon to battle snakes while visiting a nearby cave (said to be the largest in the country).

So far so good, but this game had a final and definitive challenge: The Nepali Dal Baht. For those who don't know it, dal bhat is a basic Indian/Nepali meal consisting of different items presented in a unique tray and served with rice. Although the subcourses combine foods as diverse as vegetables, salad, potatoes or pickles, they all have something in common: they are utterly spicy! Not kiddin', a naive bite to any of those evil tapas can burst the toughest of the Western men into tears. My stomach knows it well, the previous week it had been pumping poisoned dal bath to the two ends of the digestive system for more than 30 hours!

So there was I, seated at the kitchen's table trapped amidst family members and looking scared how Sun transported the malicious entity towards me. I didn't want to be rude. I tried to find an excuse that would save me from my uncertain destiny as hard as I could but it was hopeless, my mind had run off and it was miles away by then! I tackled the beast starting by the rice. Plain rice is safe, everybody knows that. Then I turned to something yellow and green that looked like a mix of potatoes and vegs. Safe territory. Then the last two cables, the hot and the cold, the red and the green. Based on MacGyver's experiences I assumed that only one of them would deactivate the bomb. Fatal error, there is no cold cable when it comes to Nepali dal bhat! A minuscule load of the redish substance unleased a terrible storm in my mouth. I cried, hell I did. All the family members looked at my red sweaty face and laughted at once. God damnet you dal bhat I thought! Game Over.

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Tras 5 semanas en Nepal se puede decir que mas o menos ya sabia como funcionaban las cosas en el pais. Por este motivo decidi que mi siguiente reto seria tratar de vivir como vive un nepali durante algunos dias. Con esto en mente comence el juego cubriendo los 130 km que separan el Parque Nacional de Chitwan y Bandipur (un pueblo remoto que escogi como escenario de mi desafio) subiendome al techo de 4 autobuses publicos. Asi es como viajan los jovenes nepalis, ahorrando dinero y disfrutando de las vistas y el aire fresco de las montanas. Cuando llegue al pueblo confime lo que me habian contado mis amigos nepalis, el sitio era precioso. Empece a llamar a las puertas de las casas que tenian buenas vistas del valle, asi hasta que tope con Suram, un hombre de unos 30 anos que entendio cuales eran mis intenciones: pasar unos dias viviendo con la familia. Suram me enseno el pueblo, el molino/prensa/desbrozadora (?), las escuelas, como construir mi propio palo para cazar serpientes y una cueva cercana. Y asi llegamos a la ultima noche, la noche que aboradaria el desafio final. Este desafio final no era otro que el plato de comida tradicional llamado dal bhat. Este plato combina vegetales, patatas y arroz entre otras cosas. Todas con distintos matices pero con un denominador comun: son tremendamente picantes. No es broma, una semana antes mi estomago habia estado proyectando un dal bhat envenenado por los dos extremos del aparato gastrico durante mas de 30 horas! En fin, alli estaba yo, sentado a la mesa de la cocina rodeado de los miembros de la familia y mirando horrorizado como el padre me acercaba mi racion. No queria ser maleducado asi que no me quedo otro remedio. Empece con el arroz, a lo seguro. Luego me la jugue con una mezcla amarilla y verde que parecian patatas y vegetales: terreno firme, sin problemas. Por ultimo me quedaban dos cosas, una verde y otra roja. Basandome en las ensenanzas de McGyver me decante por la roja (todo el mundo sabe que el cable rojo es el que desactiva la bomba en las peliculas). Lamentablemente aquella bomba no tenia sistema de desactivacion. Un timido bocado y booooom, una explosion de lagrimas. Toda la familia se giro para verme pasarlas canutas bebiendo agua. Risas generales. En fin, es lo que tiene jugar a ser nepali sin serlo!